Journal Prompts #6: On Listening
I used to be a major interruptor. To this day, I work on listening.
Grab a journal. Even if you think you don’t want to or it feels hard, I promise it will deliver. Pen to paper, it is old school, it is nostalgic, it is something to see the ink or that grey lead meet the page, it it not nothing and that is something these days.
Quick story: when I first started dating Chris about 100 years ago - we were long distance, he in Chicago and I in LA. We would scrape money together some how and fly back and forth to see one another as we navigated the ‘is this real or not’ inquiry. We had known one another since we were 18 so it was not like strangers getting to know one another and I had blurted out ‘I love you’ way too early in the dating game. And I did love him but I made it real awkward.
Anyways.
We went to a dinner party at a friend’s house when he was visiting me in LA, we walked there as she lived about 2 blocks aways. She had a green picnic table as her kitchen table, very shabby chic and she wore pearls and an apron. God, I loved LA for all the different humans I got to love and meet. So Chris and I are at one end of the table on the bench seat and other humans had filled bench spaces. A guy at the end of the table is telling a story about living in Australia and I immediately begin to blurt out “hey, I lived in Australia, too” interrupting his cadence and his story. Chris puts his hand on my arm gently and says in a whisper so others won’t hear, ‘not your time to talk, he is mid-story here’.
I am, in a word, floored.
I was embarrassed at the start. Then a little angry. Okay fine, a lot of angry. But quickly after, I realized he was so right. We talked later that evening about how I often interrupt, and by often it was always. And I did not even know it, I would just interject myself into the conversation mid-sentence, mid-story, mid-thought.
And this is one of the many reasons I fell for Chris and locked him down with that early and awkward ‘I love you’ because he told me the truth. I definitely had ego in connection with being heard when I was in my 20s and also to this day, I get really excited for connection and relatability which cues an outburst too early in conversation. I am working on it, I am human. And I really do want to be a great listener to you and to myself. It is not just you I am interrupting, it is me, my own body, my goals, too.
A turn of events and I actually now have the word listen tattooed on my inner right wrist because I NEEDED THE REMINDER way more often. And every time I choose to listen deeper, life starts to get really good. Every single time.
Grab a journal.
Close your eyes for a moment and listen. What do you hear? In your space, outside further from your space, inside your mind, your heartbeat…what else do you hear?
Think back to the last time you were in conversation with another. What did you talk about? And what did they share? What was unsaid but you heard it anyways?Did you feel heard? Overall, how was your listening during that conversation, take an audit.
Let us talk body listening. When your body speaks, do you listen? What has your body told you lately? What happens when you don’t listen to your body? What can you hear your body saying in this moment, today? Are you listening?
Last one, are listening and curiosity connected? Discuss.
So very good! Thank you.
Love this.