Journal Prompts #19: Anger is a Catalyst
Making an anger list and then asking, what now?
I have the space to fume in my life right now.
There is space to yell.
Even rage.
I have both the physical and emotional space. I have a backyard and while I can see my neighbors through the naked trees in the Winter right now, during the Summer and Fall, I am in a tree cocoon with space to yell in private. And emotionally, I have been doing some space-making so that I can feel my emotions and then let them go. Dr. Edith Eva Eger says 'you cannot heal what you do not feel - it is important to give yourself permission to feel the feelings’. (source).
I have a lot of feelings.
I am a sensitive being and I am also scared easily.
I get mad.
I cry almost daily.
And I care a lot so I try hard which does put me at some type of risk: risk of the heart and risk of rejection and risk of even, joy.
I actually carry around Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown. Yes, it is the hardback copy and it is heavy. It is kind of like when you were a kid and you would put a textbook under your pillow hoping and praying for osmosis before a big test - did anyone else do this? I do that with this book hoping and praying for osmosis from my backpack trying to be a purse to my big feelings of a self.
My favorite chapter right now is the chapter on anger, it is on page 220 for those following along in their book. Let me share a couple bangers I have underlined for you here:
“…regulating and coping with anger rather than hodling on to or expressing chronic anger is crucial fro the health of our brain (it reduces psychiatric problems) and other organs in the body.” (p. 220)
“When we deny ourselves the right to be angry, we deny our pain. (p. 224)
“Anger is a catalyst. Holding on to it will make us exhausted and sick. Internalizing anger will take away our joy and our spirit; externalizing anger will make us less effective in our attempts to create change and forge connection. It’s an emotion that we need to transform into something life-giving: courage, love, change, compassion, justice.” (p. 225)
I feel this overall exhale when I read this chapter in the book because essentially it says anger is okay. And thus, I am okay. Even when I am angry, I am still okay.
And so, here are some things that have been making me angry just this week:
+ This spot on incredible piece of work of an article titled Ending the “Manel” by
as I was just thinking about how many women experts Andrew Huberman has NOT spotlighted on his podcast that he could have. Elise nails it that it is our responsibility to notice, too. Read it!+ The intense wave of sickness that has gripped my house from October to now. Fuming mad about it which then ripples into my anger about the lack of support the USA provides parents and caregivers who are over here birthing and raising our future. Here I go, off to spiral.
+ I am annoyed when people RSVP for a free event that you put so much care into and then … just don’t show up. No email, no note. I had a seat saved for you, I bought extra blueberry yogurt pretzels because you said you were coming. Have we forgotten how to be human?
+ The instagram algorithm.
+ I am angry my children only have PE once a week at school. That cannot be right. And then I get even madder because I only have PE scheduled once a week in my schedule and I create the schedule - that doesn’t feel right either for a plethora of reasons!
+ I am enraged with the global disregard of the Earth. The impact of warfare (which of course spirals out of control in my body with the ripple of impact on humanity, global sadness, pain, death, mothers…). The absolute garbage of plastic-y trinkets my children brought home on Valentine’s Day and then the guilt I felt that we sent handmade cards only and no toys and then I remembered why. Cigarette butts, how and why?
That is my cue, I can feel a feeling and I can feel my butt starting to clench and my brow starting to furrow. My brain gets a bit blurry and my emotions get erratic. Going out for a good yell this morning as I know anger is not the solution, it is a catalyst. And then I will ask myself, what are you going to do about it, Jacki?
Grab a pen. Grab a journal or piece of paper.
When was the last time you were angry? Did you give yourself permission to be angry and feel the feelings? If yes, how so? If no, what happened next?
Getting to know our anger within our body sensations is a way to get to know our anger versus being blindsided by it. How does anger feel in your body, where and how does it show up?
Make a list of what has angered you this week.
3a. ASK: What are you going to do about it?
RESOURCES:
VIDEO: Dr Edith Eva Eger on Feel it to Heal it
BOOK: Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown
ARTICLE: Anger is Viral
VIDEO: The 2 Most Common Ways We Offload Hurt
JOURNAL PROMPTS: On Emotions and Sticky Stories
Ooof. Feeling all of this.