Grab a journal. Even if you think you don’t want to or it feels hard, I promise it will deliver. Pen to paper, it is old school, it is nostalgic, it is something to see the ink or that pencil point meet the page, it is not nothing and that is something these days.
Today in my Vulnerability Club’s writing circle, I wrote down on one side of my page, ‘things that matter to me now’ and on the other side of the page I wrote, ‘what I want less of now’ and I scribbled my answers. Under what matters to me, I wrote among many things that I love walking the beach.
And so after the zoom call was done, I went to the beach.
My dog and I were walking the beach on a very sunny day. I felt in a hurry to get down there as I had just written it down in my matter side of the page and winter is coming and I feel I need to somehow bottle up sunshine and warmth to make it through my first Maine winter. I was no longer in a rush once I got there. Something about the waves and I no longer felt a desire to go fast.
My dog is in off-leash heaven running up a few paces and then racing back to check on me, repeat. He chases leaves blowing in the salt-air as it is a windier day and he thinks they are plovers. I am also in heaven, off-screen heaven. My eyes catching the sun reflecting off the sea, the tide so high and the beach looking so different than the last time I was there. And no one in sight, just me and Moose.
We turn around to head back from where we came and I look up ahead and there is the most beautiful bald eagle flying right above us along the seashore’s edge. Soaring with the largest wingspan and letting the wild wind carry it higher and then low again. I can hear myself talking out loud, ‘wow, wow, wow, is that what I think it is? It is!’. I am smiling. And then I cry because it is too beautiful to keep inside.
I feel a moment of a Mary Oliver-esque frequency, this had to be what she felt like on her wild walks with her wild geese. I know it.
Grab a pen, grab a page.
What matters to me now? (Examples: people, things, experiences, moments, a haircut, a snuggle…)
What do I want less of now? (Examples: screen time, comparison, drama, overthinking of all the thoughts …)
Can I do more of what matters? Yes/No
3a. If yes, starting now? starting tomorrow?
3b. If no, why not?
3c. Ask again.
RESOURCES:
READ:
Want to Believe in Yourself? ‘Mattering’ is Key. By Gail Cornwall
Knowing What Matters to You Instead of Living by Default by Steve Spring
BOOK:
CARE: The Radical Art of Taking Time by
Raising Hell and Living Well by
The Body is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor
I just finished journaling about what matters to me and then your beautiful email came in!!! 🙌🏻✨
2. Less of not feeling enough, more of feeling complete as I express my higher purpose ❤️