I Don't Need a Cute, Uncomfortable Couch

Designing (my Home Office, Life, Mornings) with Intention

I have space in my home office to start anew. You know when you move one thing in a room and it has a waterfall effect and then, you need to move everything and organize your desk and your closet and buy a new Leonardo DiCaprio poster and probably even get an inflatable blue couch and beaded curtains from Urban Outfitters?

Wait, wait, wait am I age 15 or 41?
What just happened?

Did you ever do that as a kid? Move your room around and feel like a new person?
I didn’t do it all that often, but when I did, wow!

Back to the present, day after day, I have been perusing small couches online. Cute green ones and then a smaller velvet-y one in a mauve color, the likes. And honestly, while cute in appearance, they don’t look all that comfy and nothing feels right. So, I sit back and ask myself the most important question, “why a couch?”.

I really don’t need a couch in my office.
Yes, I have the room for it.
And that is what other people do in their office, it would seem.
And yet, no one comes to my home office.
I am not other people … ever.
I already have a cloak-scarf-thing and a striped button down hanging on the back of my office chair, will this become another catch all of clutter, I wonder? My inner voice immediate answers with sarcasm, “obviously yes”.

I sit back and ask, what then?

In all honesty, the space is a thorn in my side right now. It looks almost barren and feels drab and this is where I spend a big chunk of time every single day! Is my impatience showing?

Finally, I come to and realize this is actually the work I lead daily to clients when I ask them to ask:

What do you want to feel in this space (in this life)?
What inspires you right now, what turns you all the way on?
If you could have the most idyllic office space, what would it smell like?
And what is in there to support the operations of your day?
Is creativity there, is whimsy there?
Okay, and can you still get work done / get your ish done?

And there I am, I come to life in questions like these.

I realize the walls will be covered in art and imagery. Could it even be my art? My words in a frame? Or would I dare to let myself draw eyeballs on the wall - even let my young children paint a few? I know there will be shelves that hold plants and my fav knick knack-y things because I do love knick knack-y things - like a small glass vase of sand from my favorite beach my friend gifted me, these little mushroom holders for matches that you can strike at the bottom another friend gave me, a boob vase for a small plant I gave myself, my candle with my Grandmother’s face plastered on the side and a piece of artwork I bought that is a large hand coming out of crystal geodes…

And instead of a cute and not comfy couch, I will choose to have an altar with images of both of my dead grandmothers and a rock my child gave me and a poem my husband wrote me - it will be a space to sit or lay down with no screens allowed. Because this is a priority and a portal and I need to make space to remember just that. I learned the hard way that rest is sacred. Now, I will make (physical) space for it.

Some one asked me, “Is that smart to have that kind of space in the same space as your office?”

I responded, “It feels imperative. Because I will again and again fall into the sinkhole of work = worth and I will never return. I need the physical reminder to remember I am not a work horse and the design of our system might work for some but it no longer works for me and so, I will lay this body down…in my office.”

How often in life do we just fill the space to fill the space?
Unintentionally.
In a rush to be done.
Or, like they do it over there.

And then, it is just that: filled space that actually creates more clutter and unease.

While I am talking about my office space today, I could easily be speaking about my calendar or my mornings or even, my thoughts. Life is always reflected in every choice we make - how divine to pause, tune in and ask - wait, what would feel aligned and supportive?