Audit & Ask: December

The final month of the year, a closing.

I am embarking on my storytelling era. I have always been a teller of stories but this time feels different. Whereas so many of my stories in my 20s and 30s were to land a point, this time I am telling stories to elicit a feeling, an artistic inquiry, a kismet connect.

This must have been a story I heard before or from a lifetime before but I have been telling the kids a story about the bird of dusk and the bird of dawn. I saw these birds in a mediation one day. With a child snuggled in my lap or laying next to me, I speak to a beautiful bird that pulls the curtain of night at dusk to make way for the night’s sky, as if tucking in the sun and laying a blanket for the stars to play upon. Before bedtime, all the human people spreads seeds of gratitude out of their front door to feed the bird and share their bounty.

And then I speak to the colorful bird of dusk who then pulls the dark curtain of night away with its beak - as if peeling paint from a canvas - to allow the way for the warm sun to rise again the next day. The morning ritual sustains as we feed this bird dried berries and seeds to thank them again for opening up the possibility of a new day.

And I love that story. Because when I walked the beach today, I felt different about the sun and thanked the bird of dusk….

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Every month I check in - in my body, in my to do lists, my habits, my goals.

Here is my Audit & Ask for the past month of November to December.

AUDIT
Take a moment to close your eyes and see all that was November. Meetings, moments, people, health, work, commitments, failures, feelings, celebrations and all the learnings.

In one word, how was November? ___________________________

Trying.

What are two learnings you experienced from November?

1. When the kids (and my husband) are sick (‘twas a month of sick), I want to be the squishiest, softest snuggle. This has me thinking about the clothes I wear, the energy I have around me and how I reserve my energy … so I can sit and snuggle in the middle of a work day because I am mama.

2. I wrote a long learning post on my 40th birthday (which feels like years ago I wrote this, not just February…) and had made a statement that some years are launch years while others are not. And some months are launch months and other months are not. And can I keep learning to trust the pendulum swing, I wonder?

What are two celebrations you can share from November?

1. My little sister came to visit us in Maine with her husband and baby for Thanksgiving. We snuggled that baby up like you have never seen and when they left, my girls and I cried big ol’ sobs and stood at the edge of the driveway barefoot in temps that were too cold for no shoes type thing - straight out of a movie scene. And I said to my children, what an absolute celebration to love people this much it comes out of our eyes in saltwater blobs when they leave.

2. Celebrating my resilient body that took care of my people and my home this November. She did it!

Thank you November, I see you. I hear you. I am still listening.

ASK
In one word, give December a container? ___________________

Effervescent.

What do you want in December? Make a list. Write a snapshot.

I want to feel desperate for:

celebration
sensuality
quiet time
layered sweaters
cozy, so so so cozy
movement
imagination
memories made

How do you want to feel in December?

I want to feel like I am on mushrooms…but I am not. I am just ALIVE.

What is one goal (or more) that you can commit to in support of your desires and feelings for December? Start with one goal, see how it goes.

1. Take note of all the things that bring you awe.

2. Write about it.

Your turn.