Audit & Ask: December
A monthly check in to reflect and request on all that was and all that can be. Let's check in together on ZOOM, see you December 4.
Every month on the 1st of the moth, I take a moment to audit what happened in the last month and ask for what I want in the month to come. It feels ritualistic, intentional and very necessary these days. Join me with the prompts below and paid members, see you Monday for our community Zoom call to audit and ask together (details below).
Hello December, my old dear friend.
A quick update from last month, November went lightning fast. I blinked and it was November 19th and we made the bold move to put our Christmas decor up before Thanksgiving and I have zero regrets on that. Yet even amidst the fastness of it all, I felt a softening.
In me.
My heart. My eyes. My imagination.
In the air.
The salt air in the cold is something to feel, breathe and behold.
In my home, even.
Can wood floors breathe as we caress them with our feet and make a life here? Does the brick exhale when I turn on the fire? I believe if my home had shoulders, I felt them relax a bit in November.
And I am welcoming all that. The month prior to this one was all edges. My goals were half attempted and that is okay. I did not work out 14 times and my work outs went from cardio blasts to beautiful morning beach walks. And maybe I walked 14 times but I didn’t feel like counting, you know? I did have a retreat call with a cool spot in Maine but nothing I have jumped to a yes on yet. And I didn’t journal because I need a new journal and because (here is the real) I didn’t make the time. And I want you to hear me when I say this, with all those half attempted goals, I had a beautiful November, still.
Here is my Audit & Ask to close out November as we welcome December.
AUDIT
Take a moment to close your eyes and see all that was November. Meetings, moments to memories, people, birthdays, health, work, commitments, failures, celebrations and all the learnings.
*deep breath*
In one word, how was November? ____________________
Mirthful.
What are two learnings you experienced from November?
One of my core values has always been connection. And while the word remains, the definition has changed because I changed. And I am learning what connection looks like and feels like to me now and I am (finally) okay with it looking very different than it did before, even just two years ago.
I am learning from myself and others how much we hide joy. And in that learning, I feel saddened. Why am I so scared that you might see me, *gasp*, happy? Even happy-ish.
What are two celebrations you can share from November
I am so deeply smitten with my husband right now. He turned 40 this November and I told him this and I will tell you, I have loved all the versions of him. Chris and I met when we were 18 so I have gotten to know and love many iterations - whether we were friends or lovers at the time, I have always loved him. But this version, this 40 year old slice of life on him is so stunning. I am over her basking in the glow, not from the many candles on the cake we made him (this cake), but his life glow.
I hosted a soup swap party at my home to thank our new friends and community for welcoming us in and loving our children. It was a sweet group and the soups were so delicious. Like this one my friend, Paige made. Celebrating being open to connection in all the ways.
Thank you November for the divine alignment.
ASK
In one word, what is your intention for December? ______________
BREATHE.
Deep breathing so my body is present in the moments in front of me.
What do you want in December? Make a list. Write a snapshot.
I want to wear sweaters tucked into hi-waisted jeans with a beanie on and boots and fun socks, like these. Every single day.
I want the magic of Christmas to steep my children in curiosity, wonder and possibility to carry them through the upcoming year.
I want to see snow at the ocean, I have never seen it.
I want to eat soup. I used to be all about the Christmas cookies in tins, but now I just want soup.
I have heard that Santa comes in on a lobster boat here, I would like to experience that magic. And even something about fireworks, Christmas fireworks?
I want to cry happy tears. A lot. And truly indulge in them, not hide them.
I want to let myself be happy.
How do you want to feel in December?
I can only hear these word from Mary Oliver, an excerpt from Wild Geese:
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
What is one goal (or more) that you can commit to in support of your desire and feelings for December? Start with one goal, see how it goes.
I go buy a new journal. I have large handwriting so it has to be one where I don’t feel bad for taking up so much space. And one that I can see myself not only writing but drawing, adding things taped in, making it in and of itself, art.
Join me in the Audit & Ask, see you on Zoom on Monday, December 4 at 2pm EST. As a reminder, I’ll post the zoom link again in the chat thread that morning!